Rumors of my death via horrible mutilation by wild ostriches were terribly premature, as I am in fact alive and currently living in an ostrich-free area and would anyway probably notice the pack of ostriches ("flock," if you will).Subtitle One
ANYWAY. Just for fun, let's do a massive post today that would normally be broken down into many smaller, bite-sized posts with appropriate and clever titles. Omnibus blog posts are totally in for 2009.
Oh hell, I have to have subtitles then, damn.
Beef: It's What's for Dinner.
I have a new boyfriend; his last name is Friedman but whenever I type "Friedman" is comes out "Friendman," and thus a nickname is born. Anyway so far the only bad thing about Friendman is that he doesn't come in pocket-size and cannot be taken around and brought out when I am bored and/or need some lovin'.
I hesitate to post pictures here because of the 80% chance you will try and steal him from me.
Oh ok, here's one:
Here's one of him being inappropriate(ly cute).
I wish I had a picture of him shirtless because he has at least a dozen abs and they make me dizzy just looking at them.
Best exchange so far:
Me: So you're not breaking up with me tomorrow, right?
Him: No, I'm not retarded.
Asians Can't Hold Their Liquor
Unless They Are Simultaneously Jewish. Apparently.
Onye was in Nashville this year for reasons beyond comprehension, and lots of pictures are up on Facebook, and I will link to anyone who has them up on Flickr. Adina?
Anyway, Asian Mike and Charley were hosting, but deluded themselves into thinking they could shoot Jager and then make it to midnight. After Asian Mike passed out about 10:30, the DJ finally stopped playing girly crap and put on some Daft Punk and we all watched Dick Clark slur through his talk. (Seriously, they just freeze him every year and then thaw him out in time for his Rockin' Eve.) (Dick, maybe it's time to just retire.) (Unless Ryan Seacreast is your replacement.*)
Interesting fact about Nashville, though: they have a life-size recreation of the Parthenon made of brown gravelly concrete and inside is a giant statue of Athena, clothed in pressed gold, with sword and shield, looking for all the world like a very unconvincing transvestite. I mean, wow. Basically they charge you five dollars to feel very uncomfortable.
Ummmm. Right, so kind of low on the awesome factor, but I was very happy to see everyone, and hopefully next year (Seattle? New York? Boston Redux?) we will all make it to midnight and not pass out like little girls who had too much of daddy's candy water. Seriously, Adina made it and also made friends with half the bar and got one poor waitresses life story, too.
Why I Never Talk to the Males in My Family
Because they are douchebags. Also I got a Wii.
No Rest for the Weary
January usually is pretty tame, since I don't particularly like going out in the cold and the wet, but this year it is shaping up to be chockablock full of hearty granola. Or something that makes sense, I DON'T KNOW I AM VERY BUSY.
We picked up ski clothes at Friendman's parents place in Connecticut and are going skiing with Justin and some of his old friends to the Poconos for the weekend, to which I am really looking forward, since I haven't been in I think two years, maybe three. I remember how much I sucked starting out though, so hopefully I will have retained at least some muscle memory.
Friendman and I went non-ice skating on the non-ice rink at the Natural History Museum last weekend too. Have you heard about this? You are skating on plastic. No, seriously. There is no ice, no zamboni, nothing. It's plastic. That you skate on. It was fun for about15 minutes and then I wanted to die. This is what global warming has in store for us: no polar bears and also skating on plastic.
Also this month is the inauguration of my friend Barack Obama, who will get his presidency on in a few weeks. I've booked a room in Alexandria, and while Kelly is unable to join because of work, it looks like Friendman will be able. Also since when does a Day's Inn a mile from the Metro in Alexandria, Virginia cost that much per night? My friend Barack Obama would not approve of such opportunism.
Right after I get back on Wednesday, I leave for a conference in Denver, where I am launching a new program and presenting to a bunch of people, so all of that prep work needs to be complete before I leave for DC. I'm excited though: JenFoy is out there and I don't think I've seen her for a few years now.
Things Myriad and Sundry
When we went to dinner at Chick-fil-A, Donny left his car door open the entire time we were inside. The door of the rental car that was packed with our things, among them my work laptop. Luckily we were in The South, and everyone was friendly and did not jack our shit, which would have sucked to high hell and holy heaven.
You know what is awesome? Graham cracker crumbled up and then covered in chocolate.
I still cannot smell tequila without retching. Thank you TC's birthday party circa 2003.
Due to seasonal depression, the tanning cycle has begun for the winter, and hot damn does it work like a charm.
Toby lost about ten pounds in hair while I was away. He's shedding his winter coat, and it is everywhere. Like seriously, I could make five or twelve new Tobys from the hair. I mean he leaves trails of fur on the ground. Swiffering and vacuuming is a daily activity, and I am thanking God that he knows to stay off the sofa. He looks like a puppy now. A puppy with a crew cut.
Two more guaranteed posts this week: 2008 Timeline and 2009 Resolutions. Feel free to leave suggestions!
* Somebody needs to take that chick out.
Labels: adina, amazo, bacon, christmas, dad, drunk, family, friendman, jfo, justin, na'onye, new york, obama, presents, ski, stephen, toby, vacation